THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK OR MEETINGS

1. I can see your point but
  I still think you're full of crap.

2. I don't know what your problem is but
  I'll betit's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time
  to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with
  once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English but
  I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again!

11. I like you. You remind me of myself
   when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision.
   I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial
   misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged
   by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands
   you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality
   and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I, Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job but
   I've got a lot of bad karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan but
   my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office.
   It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31.  I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, Panic and Disorder!
   My work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career.
   It turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different...